i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Randomize
