You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
