Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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