it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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