nut hugger
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
