I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
