I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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