Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There r osticjed everywhere
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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