I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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