U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
