I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
