This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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