that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
