watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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