You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize