we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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