Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
