so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
