If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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