hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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