I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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