Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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