They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
