remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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