I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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