Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Randomize
