Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
