i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
worst night to have a conscience
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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