A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
