and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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