Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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