you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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