garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
that is very illegal...i love you.
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