It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
