Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
