Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
