I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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