So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
