she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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