She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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