I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
