Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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