YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
