I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I cockslap morals
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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