i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
