i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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