What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
