I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
