He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
