is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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