I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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