Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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