you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
