I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
