But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm lost and stupid without you.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Welp...herpes.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
