I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
honey bunches of taint.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
