The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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