Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
