i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
