my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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