He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
