Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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