if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
