I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
