dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
