I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
