R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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