I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
