She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
