singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
