One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
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Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
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